


Don't forget this feeling

by HoshisamaValmor (HannibalCatharsis)



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Character Study, Friends With Benefits, M/M, ish ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:48:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27914806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HannibalCatharsis/pseuds/HoshisamaValmor
Summary: A bit of utaren pillowtalk. (post-canon)
Relationships: Uta/Yomo Renji
Comments: 7
Kudos: 41
Collections: TG





	Don't forget this feeling

"We should do this more often, Renji-kun."

He heard Renji scoff through the open door of the bathroom, a carefree and careless sound that felt simultaneously out of place and perfect. It made Uta chuckle. He rolled on the bed, half wrapped in the mess of bedsheets, arms and legs poking out, the intricate black of the tattoos contrasting with the white of the fabric occasionally smudged red. He laid over his stomach and elbows, cheek pressed against his palm. His hair was loose and an absolute mess, messier than the bed.

He was the picture of decadence and he knew it. He loved it. Bloody and hedonistic and violent, something that shouldn't exist in this new world anymore but it did because Uta existed in it - and he existed only because of Renji. Because Renji was his friend and didn't want to kill him, even if Uta might still try to kill him from time to time. Eat him. Nibble a bit, at least. Or just downright fuck.

Uta smiled to himself. He liked that they were friends, no strings attached. Except Uta was not only attached, he was _latched_ onto Renji. Now more than ever, he supposed. He just wanted a bit of Renji _etched into_ him. That was why he still wanted to devour Renji. And he _would,_ eventually. Sex felt like a bit of a knockoff, to be honest. Then again, Uta wasn't going to protest at all. At least, even if momentarily, he could have the next best thing.

"Do I nag you too much, Renji-kun?"

"Sometimes." He still couldn't lie, and would never. That was Renji's constant. "But I'm more than used to it by now, so I just ignore some of the things you say."

"Is that why you don't let me eat you?"

"I don't let you eat me because I'm happy to be alive," he replied pragmatically. Uta heard the water running again for some moments, splashing against skin. He caught the slightest groan of discomfort, followed by Renji sighing clearly enough: "This will take a while to heal."

He couldn't help but breathe out a smile. Well, he had just _nibbled_ a bit, it wasn't that bad _._ But he supposed Renji would just ignore that if he pointed it outloud.

"Sorry~" he lied instead, amused with himself and waving his leg up and down like a silly teenager. "If you knew how you taste though, you'd understand."

"I think you're just greedy."

"I don't think so. I've never bitten anything below the waist, have I?"

Renji scoffed again and Uta could picture his face in his mind, the calm amusement on his otherwise often solemn expression, as if they were teens teasing each other. Renji had grown visibly lighter though, less burdened with guilt and anger throughout the past years, and Uta knew it was because of his family, of his job, of the seeing that all the work and all the pain they had faced brought them somewhere, that the efforts they kept doing every day had slow but visible results. Renji was fully adapted into this new world because he helped build it every day.

And despite that, he still kept Uta around, didn't push him off, allowed him to gravitate towards because he still _liked_ that; he still liked that bloody, hedonistic, violent and decadent side of the world, of life, that Uta had in him. Those things that do not change because Uta couldn't change. And Uta liked Renji for the opposite reasons. For the preserverance, for the adaptability, for the compassion.

They _were_ friends. In that dysfunctionally functional way they had built between them through the decades of knowing each other.

Renji came out of the bathroom, no longer bloody, dirty or sweaty, sprinkled with droplets of water instead and his hair slightly damp. The bite mark - it wasn't just a simple bite, admittedly. There was a considerable dent of flesh missing - was very clear but fully stanched. He stayed by the door though, looking at Uta on the bed, lying in the mess of bedsheets that were, in contrast, still smudged with blood and more, sweat still drying on his skin. Renji had done the reasonable thing of washing to feel fresh again, while Uta just caked in the aftermath of their time together.

Move on. Don't let go.

For some reason, Renji's expression wasn't of disgust or tiredness. He seemed interested, contemplative, but Uta couldn't really decipher what was appealing him.

"What?"

"I'm just looking at your tattoos."

"You've seen them a thousand times by now."

"I know."

Renji didn't elaborate further, as if that was a whole explanation in itself. Being under that gaze was far from unpleasant, much the contrary, so Uta relished it, a calm silent exchange that was filled with nothing in particular, just comfort. However, Uta became slowly aware of the fact that he was used to look at Renji, admire him, but that was rarely mutual, and it was really evident by the way Renji was looking at him now. While it was still a quiet moment, and definitely pleasant, Uta felt his heart beating slightly harder in his chest.

"You're a work of art, Uta."

That was not what he was expecting to hear.

"Oh wow. Renji-kun, did you found some wine in the bathroom?"

"Do you have wine hidden in your bathroom?"

It was Uta's turn to scoff nonchalantly, even though he was aware of how much that was to cover up the knowledge that he _did_ have wine in one of the drawers. For the times the weight of the new world, of people building things, of people being able to move forward and continue while he was left behind, got a bit too much for him. He was the part that wasn't supposed to be there, after all. He was an excess, not fully adapted nor absorbed into the mass.

Not to get too depressive though because he still had this moment, _now,_ Uta rolled to his back and rested his arms behind his head.

"I'm just not used to you being so outspoken unless you're tipsy."

"I don't want to nag you."

"Oh please, be my guest," he said playfully, but he was fully honest - if Renji thought a compliment like that was nagging, then he could become the world's biggest nag and Uta would welcome it.

Renji walked to Uta's bed, laying down beside him despite the mess. Uta rolled over to him soon after, taking in the lavander smell of the soap Uta was so used to coming from Renji instead. It was his turn to look at Renji in silence, just taking in the details of his face he knew by heart, seeing in his mind how all of them had changed yet were still the same from when Renji was a teenager, back when they had first met. Uta wanted to lean in and kiss him, but he didn't. Something kept him from doing it. He turned to the bite mark, leaning over it instead and feeling Renji jerk even before he touched it with his lips.

"I'm not going to bite you again, I promise," he assured him as Renji relaxed against the bed and to the kiss against the tender spot.

"Good."

"Not for the next five minutes, at least."

"Uta."

He chuckled, resting his chin over Renji's chest.

"We _could_ drink some wine though, and-"

"No. Let's sleep."

Uta perked an eyebrow teasingly.

"Are you getting old, Renji-kun?"

"I'm a great-uncle, Uta."

Uta sighed loudly.

"You're no fun, that's what you are."

"Not listening."

"Oh. I'm nagging and you're just ignoring me?"

"I'm sleeping."

"Renji-kun."

"Sleeping. Sleep too."

"But I'm not an old great-uncle like you."

"We're forty already. We need to sleep. We spent a lot of energy."

Uta sighed again, submitting to defeat and resting his head on Renji's chest instead of the pillow. He could hear his heartbeat against his ear, the rise and fall of his breathing, feel the warmth of his skin just under his body. Not inside him, filling that void, but close enough.

It was the next best thing.

.

the end

.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Feedback and corrections to English are encouraged.
> 
> Written (and named after the lyrics) to a beautiful song by Imperial Circus Dead Decadence, ironically called ['Uta'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGZL_5Wn3aQ) as well as another beautiful song by Little Dead Bertha called [ 'Day of Your Life'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qy8WlNTYGAQ) .
> 
> Disclaimer at the end but obviously don't own Tokyo Ghoul.


End file.
